If your a Newbie to teen-dom, don't worry, there are only a few things you need to survive.
High School:
1. Get a diary, and write down EVERYTHING
I mean it.
Notes, assignments, due dates, fuck, even your period.
It will save your life.
2. Homework, if you want to keep your wi-fi, I would do it, but like me, you will probably leave it to the last minute. I could tell you to NOT do that, but whats the point, your the one staying up till 1am finishing assessment tasks!
Depression:
1. It will happen to most of you (NOT ALL!!), but nothing to fear, you'll only be stuck with your bitchy depressed inner voice of doubt for a month or a year.
2. Depression is basically you hating on your self. If JB can survive (I hope he burns in hell with Satan and Hitler raping him) who says you can't.
3. If you have chronic depression... stop hating on yourself.
Bullying:
1. Those bitch's are just jealous of your fuckawesome hair.
2. If your bullying someone... go sit in the corner and think about what you've done. Then buy some chocolate and apologize.
Dating:
1. I haven't entered the dating pool yet but to me it sounds like jumping into a pool of sharks and praying you can find a dolphin.
2. I'll add when I start? But you'll be waiting awhile.
Emergency Comfort:
1. Your best friends to cheer you up and hate on the bitch who threw off your groove
2. Disney movies make everything better :)
3. Ice cream, chocolate, hot chocolate, candy and soda. Nothing like comfort eating to cheer you up. Fuck that diet.
4. Wi-fi and funny cat videos.
5. A good romance book.
6. Fresh from the dryer blankets.
Clothes:
1. Fuck media and society. Make your own style, vintage, comfort, lazy, perfect, good girl, goth. You name it, your clothes make you unique, don;t tag onto what media says. Your a big girl now, you can dress yourself.
2. Don't do anything you don't want to, fuck all those judgmental dickheads, someone who generally likes you won't give a shit about your style.
3. If your not comfortable with what your wearing, take it off and put on your chucks and your sweatpants. Unless your in public, don't strip in public, unless your a nudist, then go ahead.
4. Get a hat of some sort as a must, for bad hair days or times when you just don;t give a fuck.
Sexuality.
1. If it feels right, it IS right, Gay, lesbian, Bi, straight, your your own person, Screw those haters. Go kiss a girl! Or a guy!
2. I myself love gay guys, they are so FABULOUS!
3. I actually have no idea about my own sexuality.
4. Just because you kissed, or are attracted to someone from the same gender doesn't make you a lesbian or gay. I;m a girl and I have a girl crush on Katy Perry.
Hobbies:
1. The Teen life opens all sorts of possibilities, go try something new out! Band, singing, sports, make-up, mechanic, cars, etc!
Fandoms:
1. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
2. You don;t choose the fandom, the fandom chooses you.
3. Never piss off a fan girl. They're like bear mothers. Offend their fandom and be prepared for total humiliation.
4. Relitives? SHIP THEM ANYWAY! Different species? SHIP THEM ANYWAY! Arch Enemies? SHIP THEM ANYWAY!
5. Fandoms are fucking awesome, and scary, and still bloody awesome!
I love you.
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